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Help Me, I Can't Stop Playing Cookie Clicker
4.10.2021
It was September, 2021 when it started. Kotaku editor-in-chief Patricia Hernandez asked me to handle a post, a story about a clicker game on Steam getting patched to allow cheating. What a fun, novel notion, certainly worthy of a story. No problems there. That was how my problems with Cookie...
Viral Steam Game Patched To Aid Cheating
9.9.2021
I’m still playing Cookie Clicker instead of writing about Cookie Clicker because I need a good screenshot. That’s what I’m telling myself. It’s a convincing argument—I’m going to use it if Patricia starts asking where this post is. What would really help would be some sort of auto-clicker cheat...
Pokémon Oreos Would Be Cooler If Nabisco Workers Weren’t Striking
8.9.2021
This morning, Oreo announced a new variation of its popular sandwich cookies decorated with Pokémon characters. But while I love me some cross-brand synergy, I’m also a little wary of scarfing down on a crunchy, chocolate recreation of Pikachu’s face when striking Nabisco workers have asked...
Gigabyte Hackers Threaten To Leak Internal AMD, Intel Documents
12.8.2021
Taiwanese manufacturer Gigabyte has suffered a major cyberattack, courtesy of the hacker group known as RansomEXX. It appears the attack hasn’t impacted the day-to-day manufacturing side of the business, which focuses on PC hardware, but it has hit internal servers hard.Read more
A big change is coming to Cup Noodle
4.6.2021
If you’ve ever bought Cup Noodle, you are familiar with the plastic sticker that’s used to close the lid after hot water is added.Read more
This Cell Phone Cooking Game Has Me Irate Over Its Slander of New York Cuisine
9.4.2021
I spent so much money on a phone not because I need to have the latest technology in order to live my life and communicate with other people. It’s because I need something that can hold all the memory taken up by the obscene amount of games I have download, even though they are all essentially...
The Weight
8.4.2021
More than 20 years later, I can still remember my grandmother handing me the silver diet book with the cartoon cover and the sense that I needed to do something. I was probably around 13; the specifics have mercifully faded with time, but the cover and the feeling are burned into my brain. And...
Where to even begin with the ongoing Cinnamon Toast Crunch Shrimp Tail Saga of 2021?
24.3.2021
You always find love where you least expect it. The same goes for shrimp tails. At least, that’s the case for Jensen Karp, a TV writer who took to Twitter this week to complain that he found shrimp tails, as well as what appeared to be rat droppings and dental floss, in his box of Cinnamon Toast...
The Rise and Fall of 'Bro-gurt,' the Macho, Ab-Obsessed Snack for MEN
23.3.2021
In 2013, a blonde-haired woman in a “sexy nurse” costume (low neckline, high hemline) worked a booth at the Food Expo of Natural Products, pitching a new option: Powerful Yogurt. She offered passers-by ultrasounds of their stomachs so they could “find their inner abs,” the brand’s tagline....
Presenting The Takeout’s official Fast Food Fish Sandwich Power Ranking
3.3.2021
The Lenten season requires you to suspend your disbelief. Not sure about a skinny 33-something dude turning down a loaf of bread after fasting in the wilderness for 40 days? It’s Lent, baby! Get over it! Planning to give up sugar for six weeks? Sure, okay—Lent! A little shaky on hand-washing...
You are only 12 cheese sticks away from making Super Duper Stuffed Crust Pizza
12.2.2021
Your eyes are not deceiving you: I have made an entire pizza out of nothing but stuffed crust. This has been a top secret project I’ve been mired in for weeks, its existence known only to my coworkers, my family, and an exclusive group of individuals I felt could be trusted with this knowledge....
In the battle between New York pizza and Chicago deep dish, why not choose both?
8.2.2021
If I were teaching a basic American Food 101 class to an extraterrestrial from Mars, I’m pretty sure they’d give me a double-take when I tried to explain that New York and Chicago-style pizza are considered the same basic food: “Yeah, this flat, crispy-yet-chewy bread with thin sauce and cheese...
Plant-Based Ice Cream Taste Test: What Comes Closest to the Real Thing?
3.2.2021
The plant-based food revolution is in full swing. There are now plant-based chicken nuggets, plant-based eggs, and countless meat and dairy-free alternatives, and many of them taste really good. And after we tested out Trader Joe’s plant-based burgers, a new vegan ice cream from a company called...
Wisconsin curdfluencers deliver the high-octane Midwestern enthusiasm I crave
2.2.2021
Food influencing has morphed from flat-lay latte shots into something extreme: the relentless promotion of “must-try” items that offer little in the way of taste or soul. Influencers travel in packs, battling it out for primo Instagram Explore placement: health-conscious content creators...
Jeni’s Everything Bagel ice cream boldly goes where no bagel has gone before
29.1.2021
A certain wintry chill descends when people argue about dumb stuff on the internet. A phantasmic voice seems to glide through my apartment, whispering: “Go! See what everyone’s fussing about!” And so I am sucked into inane Twitter discourse time and time again. Most of the time, it’s terrible—but...
Nothing Says Valentine's Day Like Chocolate Ramen
27.1.2021
Do you like chocolate? What about ramen? Well, this Valentine’s Day in Japan, people can eat chocolate ramen.Read more
Whole Foods, Starbucks and Nordstrom, Accept Bitcoin As Payments But Don’t Acknowledge
15.5.2019
Ever since cryptocurrencies were first created, the ultimate aim of the creators was to ensure that it became an alternative and seamless mode of payments, but that always seemed to be a pipe dream as it was not accepted as legal tender anywhere. However, the atmosphere surrounding had started...
Whole Foods and Major Retailers Now Accept Cryptocurrency via the Spedn App
13.5.2019
On May 13, cryptocurrency enthusiasts were pleased to hear that major retailers including Whole Foods, Lowes, Petco, Regal Cinemas, and Gamestop will accept payments in crypto. The payments will be processed by Flexa using its custodial wallet called ‘Spedn’ which gives people...